[Gabriel is wandering through the woods, because he's on his way to the cool counselor's party or... I dunno. Meeting someone for some secret rendezvous. You never know with him.]

Guys... And by guys, I mean the people in the, uh... Stupid small horse cabin. [That's the Tarpan Cabin, for those keeping score at home. Who the hell knows what's in that ( Read more... )

[It should worry anyone that Lord I Love The Sound of My Own Voice is writing this, instead of, you know, proclaiming his trolling to everyone in the known universe.

It helps that it's... Not his voice right now.  :|]

If anyone needs me....

.....Y'know what? No one need me until this is over. Period.

[There's some scratching sounds on the microphone and what to human ears will sound like a frustrated dog's growling is actually Gabriel swearing and trying to urge HIS NEWFOUND PAWS to operate the controls on his journal. After a moment of cojoling, the video clicks on and there's an EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF A PAIR OF AMBER EYES AND A SNOUT... And then ( Read more... )

[Annnd we have "Bill" back. He is, you'll notice, sans mustache. (Thank you, Murphy.) He does, however, look deeply, deeply serious.]

It's true. I did lie about having memories. I'm not Bill Kohler, post-it billionaire. However, after all this, I've retained enough of my mind to know one thing about myself. I'm....

[Pause for dramatic effect.]

A ( Read more... )

[The video clicks on and you are greeted to the BRAIN-SEARING IMAGE of Gabriel in a Hawaiian shirt with what can only be described as a lip caterpillar- OH YEAH, THE PORNSTACHE IS HAPPENING- and classy sunglasses. He's the Millionaire to your Gilligan, folks. He's also drinking a Bahama Mama and reclining somewhere in his hotel room.]

Oh come on. I ( Read more... )

[Because Gabe does not sleep, this is posted at EXACTLY MIDNIGHT. SO HOPE YOU WEREN'T ASLEEP, BARGE. 'CAUSE YOU PROBABLY AREN'T NOW.]

Helloooo, Barge!

You recognize this voice?

It's my voice. It is! Huh? Huh?

That's right. I'm in the right body and, whoo, was I starting to miss it. And I will never, ever complain about being short again, my friends. ( Read more... )

[There's a sound of wrappers crinkling all through this. Gabe may be eating his weight in Little Debbie snack cakes, but that's how he always eats, so it's not really that noteworthy. Also, Gabe sounds ridiculously cheerful through the whole thing and never loses it.]

Y'know the best part of not being human? Things like this? Just roll off you. I ( Read more... )